This Is How We Do
by Atavan Halen
Summary: Harry decides that he has had enough of Hogwarts and the magical world. He forms an ill-thought out plan to move to America and start his life over. Hermione, the only one with any common sense, attempts to talk Harry out of his crazy plans.


**This Is How We Do**

**Summary**: Harry decides that he has had enough of Hogwarts and the magical world. He forms an ill-thought out plan to move to America and start his life over. Hermione, the only one with any common sense, attempts to talk Harry out of his crazy plans.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything and unfortunately do not make any money off of this.

**Warnings**: Implied Harry/Edward slash, sort of a crossover but not really, half-baked plans that will not work, and abuse towards our favorite hero. Hey, we all knew Hermione could kick someone's ass after she popped Draco in the third book. Oh, and some bad language.

Harry Potter gracelessly flopped onto a squashy couch in the Gryffindor common room. He shook his raven colored hair so that it would obscure his emerald eyes and famous lightning shaped scar. Stretching out on the couch, Harry searched the common room for one Hermione Granger. Having finally finished his plans, he needed the help of his genius friend to set them in motion. Finally spotting his friend, Harry quickly motions for her to sit in the seat next to him.

Hermione, said genius friend, was fairly reluctant to join her best friend. While normally she would not think twice about joining Harry, the look on his face made her pause. It was his "I've got an ill-thought out plan that I am completely sure will work and need you to help me get started" look. Whenever Harry managed to convince her to help out things usually ended rather spectacularly. Most often the plan ended with an explosion of some sort and the two of them along with their other friend, Ron, in detention. Hermione really did not want that to happen, but it was either detention or having Harry sulk for weeks. She would gladly choose detention over one of Harry's emo episodes.

"Hey Harry, what's up?" Hermione asked somewhat reluctantly.

Harry lit up at the question and started to ramble out his answer "Hermione! I'm so glad you asked. I have finished my amazing plan and I need your help to get started!"

Hermione grimaced, today, no; the rest of the week was not going to go in her favor.

She asked rather grudgingly "What is your plan Harry?"

Harry either didn't notice his friends' reluctance or chose to ignore it and quickly launched into an explanation of his impulsive plan.

"Well you see Hermione, I am officially sick of Hogwarts. I am sick of the wizarding world, I am sick of all of this! It's all the Dursley's fault really, they wanted everything to be normal and as a result of growing up in that environment I want to be normal. So I have decided to drop out of Hogwarts and leave the magical world behind. I'm going to convert all of the money in my vault at Gringotts to muggle money and buy a house in America. The houses there are huge and I can buy a really nice on for less than fifteen thousand galleons, can you believe that? I couldn't decide on a place in the muggle world to live so I threw a dart at a world map. It landed on this little town called Forks, it's in Washington. So I'm going to move there. Once there I will enroll in muggle high school. Also, I will find my soul mate there. Even though I've left the magical world behind my soul mate will probably end up being a magical creature like an elf or a vampire! I bet he will even look like Cedric Diggory and be just as brooding and deep as I am! We will fall madly in love and spend the rest of eternity together. Is it not a great plan Hermione?"

Hermione looked at her friend. She blinked once, she blinked twice and yet he still had that silly grin on his face. She mentally groaned this was not going to end well.

"Harry, please tell me that you're taking the mickey."

"Of course not! How could you ask me that question Hermione? I would never joke about something as serious as running away and finding my soul mate!" Harry exclaimed.

If it were not for the fact that they hated each other, Hermione would swear that Harry spent large amounts of time with Draco Malfoy. Honestly, the two of them should get along considering how melodramatic the both of them were. Maybe if she could get them to stop fighting she wouldn't have to deal with Harry's hysterics. Or maybe it would get worse. Damn, there is just no winning is there?

"Harry," she started off gently, like talking a three year old out of a tantrum "you do realize that becoming a citizen takes time and effort? You cannot just buy a house and get citizenship."

"Whatever, it will all work out somehow." Harry shrugged her concerns off.

Hermione had tried being nice, had tried to calmly talk Harry out of his crazy idea. But she would not condone him telling her "whatever" and dismissing everything she said.

"Harry, do not be an arse! Listen to what I have to say! Becoming a citizen takes work! You have not been to a muggle school since you were ten! Not only that but you have not even graduated from Hogwarts yet! Honestly Harry, you cannot just throw a dart at a map and leave everything behind!" Shrieked Hermione.

"Just relax, I already told you that everything will work out somehow."

Not being able to take any more of Harry's dismissive attitude, Hermione stood up and walked over to where Harry was sprawled across the couch. She stood over him for a moment trying to calm herself down. Unfortunately for Harry, Hermione was unable to do so and started hitting Harry as hard as she possible could.

"Dammit Harry stop waving away everything I have to say. I'm trying to stop you from doing something completely stupid and irrational AGAIN!" Cried Hermione as she attacked her friend.

"OUCH! Hermione, stop hitting me! I'm telling you it will all work out in the end. Stop it, Ron get her off of me!" Harry shouted out in desperation.

Harry and Hermione's other friend, Ron Weasley, had appeared in the common room. Seeing Hermione attacking Harry could only mean one thing, Harry had come up with another insane plan that would land them all in either the hospital wing or detention. Still, Hermione could hit pretty hard so it was best if he stopped her assault on Harry right away.

Ron grabbed both of Hermione's arms and tried to calm her down "Come on Hermione, you shouldn't be attacking Harry like this."

"But Ron, he will not listen to reason! This stupid, ill-thought out plan of his is going to land us in detention again!" Screeched Hermione.

"I know Hermione, I know." Ron soothed, "But it's better than him going through a sulky phase."

"No! I cannot take this anymore Ron! Harry you have gone completely mad and I refuse to help you this time." Hermione shouted at her friends.

After her declaration Hermione stomped her way up to the girl's dormitory for refuge. Perhaps this time Harry's plot would not end with an explosion. As the walls rattled around her and a rather large boom sounded from the common room, she knew that she had spoken far too soon. Resigning herself, Hermione stood up and went back downstairs to take her insane friend to the hospital wing, again.

Finis


End file.
